Case of The Mondays: Europeans Crushing American Muscle Cars as “Art”

In another example why Europe could benefit from another World War, some undoubtedly smarmy, scarf-wearing, beret-touting, cappuchino-sipping Audi-driving limp-wristed Eurosnob has developed an intricate pneumatically-powered machine which slowly compacts two examples of Detroit muscle into each other, simulating a slow-motion car crash between the two machines. Titled “The Slow Inevitable Death of American Muscle,” creator Jonathan Schipper created the machine to advance two mid-70’s Pontiac Firebirds slowly into one another over a period of 6 days, simulating a head on automobile collision. This time lapse footage was posted on StreetFire.net showing museum attendees watching as the device obliterates two F-Bodies for their amusement. Unfortunately, Schipper has used his medieval automotive torture device before on a pair of mid-80’s Chevrolets (see below) previously. What Schipper has against General Motors, muscle cars, Americana, or anything remotely masculine is beyond us…


SLOW DEATH OF AMERICAN MUSCLE

This is what Jonathan Schipper’s website had to say about this “sculpture:”
“This sculpture is a machine that advances two full sized automobiles slowly into one another over a period of 6 days, simulating a head on automobile collision. Each car moves about three feet into the other. The movement is so slow as to be invisible.

“It is almost impossible to watch a modern action film without at least one automobile wreck. Why do we find interest and excitement it new versions of the same event? Why are we not satisfied? Cars are extensions of our body and our ego. We buy or modify cars that reflect our personalities and egos. When we see an automobile destroyed, in a way we are looking at our own inevitable death. This moment is, because of it’s inherent speed, almost invisible. We have slowed the event via film and video but only from a cameras perspective. We never get to see the transformation of living breathing car too wreck in its entirety, in detail. This piece offers the viewer the ability to examine in three dimensions the collision of these cars. A moment that might take a fraction of a second in an actual collision will be expanded to take days.

“Car wrecks are spectacular moments. This piece by changing one of the key variables removes and changes the nature of the event. What was life threatening is now rendered safe. What was supremely spectacular is now almost static. The wreck has been broken down to its Newtonian components. We are left to contemplate our own mortality our own Newtonian components.”

About the author

Kevin Shaw

Kevin Shaw is a self-proclaimed "muscle car purist," preferring solid-lifter camshafts and mechanical double-pumpers over computer-controlled fuel injection and force-feeding power-adders. If you like dirt-under-your-fingernails tech and real street driven content, this is your guy.
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