In Russia, everybody has a dash cam in their car, because being able to prove the other guy driving was an idiot is important for convincing your insurance company to pay up. In America, everybody has a GoPro, because being able to show the world you’re an idiot by posting your own crashes on YouTube is important for some reason. Case in point is YouTube user JeanClaude14602‘s video, with the no-nonsense title “Motorcycle Crash.”

camarovsmc2

No gloves – that’s gonna sting…

Let’s pick up the narrative directly from the video description, shall we?

camarovsmc1“It was a nice day and I had to drive 3 hours south for work the next day and on the way I decided to stop in cedar key fl on the gulf coast for some lunch. Just crusin barely above the limit a Camaro slowed down without breaking so I didn’t notice any break lights to catch my attention and on top of that I wasn’t being aware of my surroundings and was looking to the right a little. At that perfect moment I realized how close the car got and it was too late. As I hit the breaks I looked for an escape, there was no way I was gonna make it all the way to the left and go around so I looked off road to the right and saw a parked truck and telephone pole and that seemed like a bad idea so i just kept on the brakes and tried to get as far right as I could and take my chances trying to skim by the side. as you see that didn’t go well. I went to the hospital and got some x’rays and nothing was broken! I was limping for about a week and a half and other than that I was completely fine. I’m very lucky I didn’t break a bone let alone that I survived rear ending a car at 68mph. I think my rucksack protected my back a’lot and cushioned the rear window from breaking and obviously I had a helmet too. Oh ya, if your wodering. Yes my bike is destroyed and I think ill buy a car next.”

camarovsmc3

oh$#!%…

A Zapruder-film dissection of this video frame by frame shows just where things went wrong – a head turn to the right shows that the rider was momentarily distracted when the Camaro began to slow, and then, when he realizes his predicament, target fixation sets in and the Harley brakes in an unwavering straight line directly into the 4th Gen’s backside.

camarovsmc4

That will buff right out.

Remarkably, the impact sends JeanClaude not tumbling down the road, but plants him almost gently onto the roof of the Camaro, which rolls a few more feet down the road before coming to a stop with the remains of the Harley visible in the distance. But the best is saved for last – Like a circus clown car, the Camaro disgorges the entire cast of Duck Dynasty, who are momentarily stunned into inaction before asking the rider if he’s injured and starting to help him out.

camarovsmc5

Where did all these guys come from?

While crashing sucks, especially thanks to nothing more than a moment of distraction and paralysis, we can at least say that on the Big Scale of Motorcycle Crashes, this one wasn’t so bad compared to some we’ve seen…